Gauri Gharpure studied journalism at Columbia University, New York, on a Fulbright grant. She is the coordinator of the mass media department at Don Bosco College, Panaji and makes paper jewellery on the side. She tweets at @gaurigharpure
A few months ago, I struck up a discussion where I was the only person who found nothing wrong with asking, "So, what do you do?" during a conversation. My new friends shook their heads in disapproval. How does it matter, they asked - besides - most people where you stay don't have a solid response to that question.
"Yes, yes!" joined in another anti-What-do-you-do person and said something to the effect: "Most of them there in Goa are itinerant drifters with big money, you know. They don't do much but they do a lot." Major hmmm. I didn't agree with the blanket generalisation of the populace or the blanket disapproval of the query. But, it was a discussion that stuck in mind and that which I have pondered on from several angles since.
The question, the response, or the discomfort with the question has to be weighed in by several perspectives. One, to what intent the question is asked largely defines the indignation of some at providing the answer. Unfortunately, "What do you do?" is intrinsically linked with how you earn your money, and further, whether the means of income is polished enough. Now, such line of questioning is as irritating as it is ever-pervasive and I do not endorse it. Let me give an example. Often, when I am asked, I happily reply that I make paper jewellery, freelance and am working on my first novel. The follow-up question to this reply has often been, "But do you earn enough to sustain yourself?" I smile and say yes even though I am tempted to say, "Excuse me, you are way out of line here."
Some of the most interesting people may not have a ball-point answer. They do many things, they keep busy and they live productive lives that should not be gauged by a fixed annual income. At times when people try to worm out such details in introductory conversations, I remember my new friends and their arguments that oppose the What-do-you-do query meant only to determine one's financial and social standing. But, these type of 'what-do-you-do' people and I are not on the same page.
When I ask someone what they do, I am interested in knowing how they spend their time, how they keep busy, how they keep "occupied." I tried to find the difference between the terms vocation, occupation, profession and similar terms and found an answer by Quora user Bob Leslie quite appealing. Bob says that "vocation" literally means "calling" and refers to work that one does because of a feeling of deep affinity, attraction and/or talent. "Profession" is an activity one "professes", i.e. consciously adopts and studies and generally refers to intellectual (rather than manual) pursuits which involve gaining a recognised qualification, e.g. Teaching, Law. "Occupation" is a neutral, generic term indicating any activity that takes up a significant quantity of time, but is normally used to refer to one that earns money.
If the emphasis were to be on how one kept occupied, instead of, unfortunately, than the prodding mask to glean how much one earned, I find the term occupation to be a better word choice than profession. Money is required but not everyone is required to earn it in the mundane 9-5 ways preferred by presumptuous query mongers. More importantly, people are not expected to fall prey to such questions and feel compelled to spell out their resources or justify them to strangers. So chill, don't take the question too personally or too negatively.
Immediate family members who have anything to do with your sustenance, may be the only stakeholders in such conversations. Allowing others to judge how you spend your time is giving up on your basic freedom and peace of mind. Unfortunately, a large chunk of the society operates on such assumptions and many are unwittingly made to feel guilty for not joining the rat race. In an essay titled, "The Art of Knowing What to Do with Life" blogger Maria Popova (brainpickings.org) develops the idea put forth by 19-th century astronomer Maria Mitchell who said, "To know what one ought to do is certainly the hardest in life. 'Doing' is comparatively easier." There are some people, who, because of various reasons, take their time to find what they want to do with life and do exactly that. Such people may not fit straightjacket professional expectations but may be as happy and and content with the lives they lead. Then, there are some who have so much by the way of heredity and fortune, that they don't really need to "do" anything. If they choose to enjoy their time and spend their money the way they want to, their choice. I am not trying to justify unproductive tendency, rather, all I intend to say is that that what one eventually does with life has a tremendous backlog of reasons, providence and history that cannot be possibly questioned in one small query or answered in one swift reply. Whatever one does then, as long as one is happy - and not making a nuisance of themselves to others - is a personal choice that must be respected and not unduly prodded. I believe that if one is clear in their mind with their choices, outside pressures and expectations should not make them unnecessarily defensive when asked, "So, what do you do?"
